Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
