Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
