he shaved USA in his pubs
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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