all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
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