I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
