did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
