D3 body, D1 cock
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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