i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize
