ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
