Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
