I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
