I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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