Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
