so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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