Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
