Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
