No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
