I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
