i already hear my dad disowning me
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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