so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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