4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
