i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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