Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
