You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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