I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize