He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize