this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
