wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
