Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
