There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
