Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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