i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
