escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
