she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My feet surprised me
Randomize
