either way he was missing a nipple.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
