I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
