is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
