thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
