She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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