Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize