Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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