I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
