I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
