i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
