Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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