the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
