$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just sucked dick on a ferry
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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