; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
