Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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