I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
