I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize