Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
