I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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