so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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