When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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