tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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