Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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