Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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