Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
